Wednesday, February 04, 2009

Apocalypse Delayed

Given the tremors of fear and panic gripping the nation, Congress has passed a bill extending the deadline for the conversion of all television broadcasts from analogue to cable. I am so relieved.

First, the civil government should have no say in mandating something like this. Let markets decide the matter. That saves us from all the public service announcements, confusions, and so on.

Second, it is pathetic how deeply this affects some people. It is as if their lifeline is in danger. I hear adds by bureaucrats warning that if one does not make the proper call and do the proper thing, the screen will go blank (just like the minds already watching the screens). Of course, there are no publicly-funded advertisements warning you that television undermines reading and critical thinking, that it wastes time and habituates people to unreality.

My dream: On the dreaded day when the analogue dies, all of television mysterious dies with it. All screens go blank and black; the roar of white noise engulfs the planet...and then we move ahead.


Daniel said...

Exactly. And why it takes congress to take the time and vote on such a thing when the country is under cataclysmic economic woes and two wars abroad is mind boggling to me.

Anonymous said...

I hear that there is a "TV begone" that works on all TV's everywhere. So, the record (by Doug) of only, a measely...8-9 in one day, could be greatly multiplied!

Paul D. Adams said...

My dream: On the dreaded day when the analogue dies, someone hacks into all the major networks and broadcasts endless re-runs of the Ozzie and Harriet Show, the Jack Benny Show, the Lone Ranger, and Roadrunner cartoons...all in blazing black and white!

Yossman said...

I don't share your dream of tv's going blank. I fear an army of zombies woken up from their tv-induced slumber rising up to demolish whatever is left of our civilization.