Friday, January 26, 2007

The First Ever: Curmudgeon Cruise

Book your spot now on the first ever annual Curmudgeon Cruise. Why bother with the chronic entertainment, endless overeating, celebrity speeches, predictably good weather, and perpetual sight-seeing offered by standard, boring cruises when you can have these lectures given in person with a scowl?

1. Eight principles on how to offend friends and enemies with the truth.
2. How to dissolve an audience in mirth without ever smiling.
3. Six principles for using the Bible to embarrass yourself and others.
4. How to insult others without them knowing it--right away.
5. Speed reading Kierkegaard (and other curmudgeons) for fun and profit.
6. Nine ways to denude celebrity Christians.
7. Seven ways to refer to obscure thinkers and jazz musicians in everyday language such that others are amazed, perplexed, and dismayed.
8. And much, much more!

This special, limited offer cruise offers absolutely no creature comforts, no self-congratulatory events of any kind, and will sail only in rainy, rough, windy weather--in order to toughen the soul for curmudgeonly enterprise.

Space is limited. Sign up today!

6 comments:

Yossman said...

Doesn't sound as bad as my trip on Operation Mobilization's Logos 1 sailing around South America only to get shipwrecked off the coast of Tierra del Fuego, 19 years ago now.

I'm in.

John S said...

Not much is left sacred anymore. The Cruise is a very Christianly interprise now days. Some people go and sit and stare and goof off...oh, right much like modern ecclesiology. Forget the Bible I want pyrotechnics. Done with the atonement, no more talk of sin, lets go on cruises...as the world goes to hell.

Douglas Groothuis said...

John S: Thou soundest like a curmudgeon.

Small Group Guy said...

But how would all the radio ministiries and evangelical organizations around the world make any money? Cruises are Gone!! O Perish the thought!! :)

BJ the Tornado said...

Sign me up

Jonathan Erdman said...

I'm in, too!

By the way, how much would such a cruise cost? Would the head Curmudgeon speakers be making a hefty profit like all the other celebrity Christian cruise speakers???