A
vast literature on happiness has emerged in recent years that is based on
“positive psychology.” Instead of emphasizing neurosis and disorders,
psychologists are exploring what leads to human fulfillment. One book is called
Authentic Happiness. That is good in
its place, but we have little instruction on the wise use of woe. There is no book called Authentic Sadness. Virtuously aligning
human feeling with objective fact is no small endeavor, and it takes us far
beyond pleasurable sensations. As C.S. Lewis wrote in The Abolition of Man.
Until quite modern times all
teachers and even all men believed that universe to be such that certain
emotional reactions on our part could either be congruous or incongruous to
it—believed, in fact, that object did not merely receive, but could merit, our
approval or disapproval, our reverence or out contempt.
If Lewis is right, then some objects and situations
merit lament as well. But our affections are too often out of gear. We often
weep when we should laugh and laugh when we should weep or we feel nothing when
we should feel something. Decades ago, a pop song confessed, “Sometimes I don’t
know how to feel.” We have all felt this confusion. Nevertheless, our affect
should follow our intellect in discerning how to respond to a world of groaning
in travail and awaiting its final redemption (Romans 8:18-21). We live in
between times and “under the sun,” as Ecclesiastes puts it. Accordingly, we are
obligated to know what time it is.
There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:
a time to weep and a
time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance (Ecclesiastes 3:1, 4).
Sadness has its seasons as
does happiness; this is simply because God’s creation has fallen into sin and
has yet to reach its culmination in The New Heavens and the New Earth
(Revelation 21-22). Before then, we are still exiles, but living in hope. If we
are to be godly stewards of our emotions, we must know the signs of the times,
know our present time, and know what these times should elicit within us.
Our sadness should be judicious and obedient, not hasty,
melodramatic, or inane. This is a moral and spiritual matter, not one of mere
feelings. Emotions easily err. After the Colorado Rockies baseball team was
eliminated from a playoff game some years ago, a Rockies
fan reported on television that this loss was like “a death in the family.”
That struck me as pathetic, if not daft—a sadness spoiled by a disordered soul.
I wonder how her family members responded to this, since the sadness was not
rightly related to the event that occasioned it.
Sadness intrudes unbidden in a variety of dark
shades. I cannot offer a taxonomy or hierarchy of it here. (Robert Burden did
so in 1621 in his Anatomy of Melancholy.)
Rather, consider one often-misunderstood form of sorrow—lament. What is it?
Frederick Buechner wrote that “Vocation is the
place where our deep gladness meets the world's deep need.” In that spirit, lament is where our deep sadness meets the world’s deep
wounds. And this world has its wounds. The largest wound of all wounds was the crucifixion
of the Lord Jesus Christ, who suffered more than anyone ever had or ever will,
and with the greatest possible effect. His cry was the apex of all laments, “My
God, my God. Why have you forsaken me?” (Matthew 27:46; See Psalm 22:1). It is
only because of this lament that our laments gain their ultimate meaning.
Christians lament because objective goods
have been violated or destroyed. Creation is deemed good by God himself (Genesis
1). Yet humans have rebelled against God, themselves, each other, and creation.
As the Preacher puts it, “All things are wearisome, more than one can say.”
(Ecclesiastes 1:8). In Lament
for a Son, Nicholas Wolterstorff notes that Jesus blessed those who mourn
(Matthew 5:4), because they are “wounded visionaries,” seeking genuine goods
that escape their grasp. In this sense, their godly frustration is their
blessing—and the aching will one day be answered.
But when we lament, we do not do so in a void of
meaninglessness. Even though many of our desires are disordered, and thus vain
or evil, a good many of them remain in line with God’s desire to restore shalom.
We cry out over the loss of a child, over war, over stupidity, cupidity,
mortality, and more. Paul was in anguish over the unbelief his countrymen.
I have great sorrow and unceasing anguish in my
heart. For I could wish that I myself were cursed and cut off from Christ for
the sake of my people, those of my own race, the people of Israel (Romans
9:2-4; see also 10:1).
But Paul never descended into despair or gave up the
cause of Christ. Even having suffered terrible torments for Christ, he marched
on, knowing that the End puts all the means into place and that our “labor in the Lord is not in vain (1
Corinthians 15:48).
Lament is not only a literary genre of
Scripture (consider the many Psalms of lament, such as 22, 88, 90, as well The
Book of Lamentations), but is an indelible category of human existence east of
Eden. It can be done well or poorly, but it cannot be avoided by any but sociopaths.
Fallen mortals bemoan life’s suffering, often mixing their grief with outrage.
Whether outwardly or only inwardly, they raise their voices, shake their fists,
beat their breasts, and shed hot tears. The Negro spiritual intones, “Nobody
knows the trouble I’ve seen. Nobody knows but Jesus.” The blues, leaning on the
spirituals, lament in a thousand ways. “Nobody knows you when you’re down and
out,” cries Eric Clapton. When Duke Ellington played his wordless lament, “Mood
Indigo,” on his first European tour, some in the audience wept. Even heavy
metal, full of thunder, rage, and debauchery, often laments life’s burdens. In
Metallica’s “Master of Puppets,” the singer’s voice is that of cocaine. It
lies, enslaves, manipulates, and pulls the strings of the addicted. This is a
roaring, electronic lament. But there is no hope; it is protest without
promise.
We all bewail the injustices, suffering,
and terrors of this life, but not all worldviews make room for the full
expression of human personality amidst these misfortunes. For instance, the Zen
poet, Isa, lost several children and his young wife. In his deep sorrow, he
went to a Zen master who told him that “Life is dew.” It all passes away and
one must adjust to the inevitable. This
is the Buddhist teaching of non-attachment to the impermanent. But Isa, made in
the image of God and wanting a better answer, wrote a short poem: “Life is dew,
life is dew…and yet, and yet.” Isa could not accept the cure, because Zen did
not understand the disease. Life is more than dew. Zen let him down, because it
would not let him inhabit his sorrow.
If we have established something of the
meaning of lament biblically and philosophically, we need delve into its
practice in this world of woe and wonder, of weeping and laughing, morning and
dancing (Eccles. 3:1-8).
First,
those who take the Bible to be the knowable revelation of God about the things
that matter most (2 Timothy 3:15-16) should discover the genre of lament in
Scripture. Besides the Psalms of lament and Lamentations, perhaps Ecclesiastes
is the richest biblical resource. The Teacher is weighed down by the seeming
futility of life, but realizes that sadness gives needed, if unwanted, lessons.
It is better to go to a house of mourning
than to go to a house of
feasting,
for
death is the destiny of everyone;
the living should take this to
heart.
Frustration is better than laughter,
because a sad face is good for
the heart.
The heart of the wise is in the house of
mourning,
but the heart of fools is in
the house of pleasure (Ecclesiastes 7:2-4).
Ecclesiastes, more than any other book of Holy
Scripture, has given me the perspective and language of lament necessary for my
own sad sojourn during the last fifteen years. It is a deep well of tough
wisdom for the weary soul.
Second,
lament requires a deep knowledge of God, of the world, and of ourselves. It is often said that our hearts should break
where God’s heart breaks. We should “rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with
those who mourn” (Romans 12:15), and not the opposite. To adjust our emotions to reality, we must
gain knowledge from the Bible and sound thinking (Romans 12:1-2). We are not to
grieve the Holy Spirit (Ephesians 4:30). A corollary is that we should know
what grieves the Holy Spirit, and grieve along with him.
Third,
lament is not grumbling, which is selfish, impatient, and pointless. The
children of Israel grumbled against God even as God was providing for their
pilgrimage, just as he promised. Paul says, “Do everything
without grumbling or arguing” (Phil 2:14). While the
distinction between grumbling and lament is not easy to make (I may defend my
selfish outbursts as laments), it is a real distinction, since Scripture
encourages lament and warns against grumbling. Isaiah declares a lament was needed, “The Lord, the LORD Almighty, called you on
that day to weep and to wail, to tear out your hair and put on sackcloth”
(Isaiah 22:12). James says much the same to Christians who should lament over
their sins: “Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to
gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.” (James
4:9-10).
One day God will lift up
those who mourn and grieve before him on his terms. He will judge and resurrect
the entire cosmos in the end (Daniel 12:2). On this, we place our trust and
direct our hope. Yet the Lamb then in our midst was once scared and even forsaken
by his Father for the sake of our redemption. God counts our tears before he
takes them away (Psalm 56:8; Revelation 21:4). Learning to lament is, then,
part of our lot under the sun. We and our neighbors are better for it, tears
and all.
